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Memoirs of a Wedding Singer

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It's been several years since I left the band I was with.



As I reflect upon my life --the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly,

(does that mean I'm getting old?), I look upon my experiences

with the band with fondness and know that those memories will

stay with me forever.



Music is in my blood. Every fiber of my being somehow has music

attached to it. I think it's a DNA thing. Both parents are

musicians and teachers, both grandmothers were entertainers, my

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Nana a piano player back in the days of silent films and my

Grammy a Broadway dancer. Seems to me that I wasn't left with

much of a choice in the matter!



When I was 30, (okay, now I'm dating myself), I joined what's

referred to as a GB (General Business) band. Our primary

function was weddings. That's how it started. For the first year

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we did weddings that were booked prior to my joining. Lucky for

us these folks didn't choose another band when they discovered

that the singer they thought would be there was in fact going to

be me. The singer they'd booked from the video tape had left and

I was taking her place.



The weddings were fun. I loved singing the bride and groom's

special songs and somehow added to their day. I liked being the

emcee. I enjoyed having to be upbeat and "on" even on those days

when I felt "off". It was good therapy! Oh, and let's not forget

the singing part. Yes, that's my heart and to me one of the best

forms of self expression going.



As I think back, I suppose I liked the attention, too. I didn't

want too much, but when someone came up to me on my break and

said how wonderful the music was, it felt good.

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The band and I had excellent chemistry. Chemistry is there or it

isn't -- you can't force it just as with any relationship. I

think I laughed more on my gigs than at any other time. We'd

joke on stage or the keyboard player would make "funny" sounds

with his keys while I was in the middle of a song, TRYING to

make me laugh and sometimes succeeding. Imagine singing "Crazy"

while "burp" sounds are going off in the background! Boy, did I

have to bite my tongue a lot! Sometimes, it didn't work and I

actually lost it during a song. Oh, when that happened the

entire band was in stitches and all I could do was muster up the

self control needed to keep going, hoping that the folks dancing

didn't notice. Sometimes, they did, and they laughed at us

having such a good time! But, don't let that give you the wrong

impression. We were definitely professional. A little laughter

didn't take that away.



Whenever a wedding ended, I got a great feeling when the bride

and groom thanked us for doing a great job. What a feeling of

satisfaction that was! Even with aching feet, a tired body and a

worn voice, I was uplifted by their comments.



Now, you may be saying, "Hey, if this was so great, why did she

leave?"



I say, "Good question."



Life is change -- change is life. We finished out the wedding

bookings for the year and began doing club work more and more

and got a few wedding bookings from that. Things were a bit

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unsteady when our guitar player left; so the leader of the band

held off on doing a promotional wedding video. Now, that's

important if you want more wedding gigs. When prospective brides

and grooms go into a function hall and want to see videos of

bands, they want to see who is with the band NOW, not 2 years

ago. Otherwise, they have to go to the club where the band is

playing to hear how they really sound. That can be a slight

inconvenience, especially if they lived a distance from where we

were playing.



Needless to say, without a promotional tape, our weddings

decreased and the clubs increased. It got to the point where we

were doing three or four weekends in a row; as opposed to the

two or three weddings per month. Also, the pay at a four hour

wedding is much better than working four hours, two nights in a

row, (eight hours total) at a club. Not that money was my

motive. It wasn't. But, it was nice to work a wedding and make

what I'd bust my "you know what" working a whole weekend at a

club!



So, after about a year and a half of the bookings increasing,

(the clubs loved us), I had to make a choice.



Everything in life, (and if you've read some of my other

material you'll know I mean this), requires balance. Working

most weekends was tiring and was putting a strain on my fiance

and I. He went to a lot of gigs with me because working in a

club environment is much different than doing a wedding. You

know, there's a bit more trouble to be found. Luckily, my

experience with the band was pretty much trouble free. Although

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I must say that there were many folks at weddings who'd tip a

few too many and loved to jump up on stage, grab the microphone

and belt away! (Those times were funny, and there were some

people who were pretty damn good)!



Back to the choice. It was a tough one. If only...but we don't

live in an "if only" world. The bookings were not going to

lighten up -- as a matter of fact it was the opposite. We had

definitely become a club band -- no longer doing weddings as our

primary gigs. And, the music was getting a bit stale, although I

introduced a lot of new material to the band. I also play keys

so I could work out tunes at home.



I digress.



On New Years Eve, 1999-2000, I sang with the band for the last

time. It wasn't an easy decision, but one I had to make.

Although painful at the time, I must say that with pain comes

growth. I never would have started my e-book and landed a

contract if I were still with the band. I wouldn't be a

contributor on various writing sites if I were still with the

band. I had to put my creative energies somewhere and they

landed upon the cyber pages of the Internet. I am glad for that.



And music hasn't left me. It can't. It would be like cutting off

my right arm. I still play, still sing, still sit in

occasionally. I even reunited with the band at my sister's

wedding this past November and it was GREAT! Just like

yesterday. That same ol' chemistry was there, not to be broken

by time. We laughed just like we always did.



When my father plays his solo gig in a small restaurant/bar, we

go see him and I've been know to sit and play/sing a few at the

end of the night. It brings back wonderful feelings and I love

making people happy. When I hear, "Could you sing 'this or

that', it feels terrific. (However, it's quite embarrassing when

I don't know the tune....)



Who knows? Maybe someday I'll pick up a solo gig somewhere...

Ellen M. DuBois







About the author:

Ellen M. DuBois, MA - Ms. DuBois is engaged and has a dog who

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loves to critique her work. She is published in vol.2 of God

Allows U-Turns with her piece, "The Angel in the Dumpster". She

writes to touch the hearts of others. Please visit Writings of

the Heart, her award winning writer's resource site-

http://writingsoftheheart.homestead.com/index.html



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